elevan: TiMer

While browsing through Netflix I found a movie called TiMer. It stars Emma Caulfield (Anya from Buffy and Desmond Harrington who was on Dexter) and I love her so I figured I would check it out. This movie is about Timers, which are implanted on your wrist. It gives the wearer a countdown to when they meet their soul mate. The thing is that their soul mate also has to have a Timer, if he or she doesn’t then it will have a blank screen like Emma has during majority of the movie. Emma has a sister who also has a timer, however hers is ticking down and she won’t meet her soul mate until she is in her forties. Her sister goes on a ton of one night stands because she likes the rush of having sex with someone with a timer before he meets his “one”. Emma is the opposite and doesn’t see the point in doing that. However, after seeing their younger brother meet the “one” at 14 Emma decides to pursue a relationship with a young man.

The movie is predictable, but what romantic comedy isn’t? I loved the concept that a timer can countdown to when you meet your soul mate. How awesome would that be if it was true? You would just have to believe in fate and destiny and all that. Personally, I don’t believe in fate and destiny. There’s too many bad things in the world for me to believe that people are meant to be together. However, that’s for another post! Anyway, I liked the relationship between the sisters. It seemed very genuine and that they really wanted what was best for each other. I liked the younger guy that Emma dated. In the movie she turned 30 and he’s 22. Obviously, that will never work out. She wants different things and he wants different things. Hence, the predictably of the ending.

OH! and the Timer store was awesome. It reminded me of an Apple store where all the associates are annoyingly happy to be there and super chipper. Scene stealers hahah.

Overall, I give it a 8 out 10. I really wanna see what happens to Emma and her soul mate. Nowwwwwwwwww.

ten: Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Everyone has their guilty pleasure. Mine happens to be Keeping Up with the Kardashians on E! I’ve watched every season including the spinoffs (Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami or Kim and Kourtney Take New York). My parents think that the Kardashians are the dumbest people on the Earth (and that’s including the Jersey Shore). I happen to disagree. If they can make all that money doing nothing, but showcasing their lives then why not? I certainly would if I could stand living with a camera in my face 24/7. I think what people hate most about them is that they can relate to them. The Kardashians show off their flaws to the world. They are not covering up or hiding anything. (Have you seen Kim’s ugly crying!?) People don’t like looking at mirrors that show off their bad sides. Let’s be honest we have all been selfish at one point or not want to do something because we will look ugly. (a la Kim) I have had plenty of those moments and I know everyone in the whole population has at one point. WORLD ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN BE SUPERFICIAL! Good grief.

Obviously, some of the show is scripted. I accept that because it makes for good quality TV. No one’s lives can be that interesting. One of things that I like about this show is that I can relate to everyone at one point. Lemme break it down for you.

Bruce Jenner: former Olympic star. Can be kind of grouchy and is pretty competitive. At first he seems to be the most down to Earth, but can have control issues. Don’t make him late! Cursed with horrible hair and the love for Kris. (haha just kidding!)

Kris Jenner: My least favorite person on the show. Basically she is the manager for Kim as well as does so many other duties. Sometimes she tries too hard, but it all comes in a good place. LOVES her children and can get extremely emotional. Can be a tad bossy.

Kourtney Kardashian: The oldest and shortest. She has some serious trust issues. She also tends to hide behind sarcasm and annoyance. Loves being a mom to two adorable children. She used to care about her appearance way more she became a mom. Organic crazzzy.

Kim Kardashian: The most famous with the biggest butt. Kim embodies most of my negative traits. She can be whiny, self involved, and superficial. She’s also really nice and is into weird things like crime shows.

Khloe Kardashian: My FAVORITE! She has really grown as a person over the seasons. Khloe is the funniest and most down to Earth. She will do anything for her family including telling them things they don’t want to hear. Out of them all she probably has the strongest character because she has to deal with assholes calling her fat and ugly.

Rob Kardashian: He used to be a ladies man until he get fat. Then his self esteem went down. He likes to design socks and lives with Khloe ’cause he really doesn’t have a steady income. 

Kylie and Kendell J: I really don’t have an opinion on them to be honest. They are just there.

Scott D: Scott is Kourtney’s boyfriend. He’s like a zit. Everytime you think you get rid of him he comes flaring back to life. However, unlike a zit Scott has become way more likeable. He has hilarious one liners and his commentary usually speaks the truth. I adore Scott now.

I could go on about Bruce’s side of the family, but I’m getting lazy. It’s just Brandon, Brody, and Brandon’s wife whose name literally just escaped me. (She is the sweetest person ever though!) Brandon is pretty likeable and he does an awesome Bruce impression. Brody is  nice, but has major daddy issues.

Anyway, its not like I’m saying to go turn on E and check out the show. It’s not for everyone and I can understand that. But, if you think you are above it then you are sadly mistaken son.

 

nine: Holiday in Handcuffs/My Fake Fiance

So instead of doing important homework and practicing my presentation I decided it was a good idea to catch up on my Netflix. Melissa Joan Hart used to be one of my idols, mainly because I used to be obsessed with Sabrina the Teenaged Witch. So I decided what the heck, let’s watch some AC Family movies that star Melissa. Frankly when the movies first came out I thought they were ehh, but after rewatching them I loved it! I didn’t realize Melissa and Mario Lopez had so much chemistry, especially when they were talking in the bathroom when he was shirtless. I suppose I got give a brief synopsis of each movie.

Holiday in Handcuffs
This was about a girl named Trudie who basically feels like she is disappointing her parents all the time. She wants to be an artists, though her parents believe that is a dead end job and she should get a real lawyer type job. Her brother is in a long term relationship and her sister in law school. The only good thing she has to bring to the annual Christmas in the cabin family get together is that she is bringing her new beau, Nick. Unfortunately, Nick is an asshole and breaks up with her two hours before she is supposed to go to the cabin. Trudie gets a mental breakdown and can not go to the family gathering alone, therefore she kidnaps Mario Lopez.

A bunch of bonding occurs and she Mario fall in love and he decides to leave his fiancé for her. Well, there’s a little more to that. He wasn’t happy in his life either and only doing things that were expected of him. She made him realize that blah blah and they get together in the end in true romantic comedy fashion. Also, Trudie realizes her family isn’t as perfect as they seem and they all accept each other.

The movie is pretty predictable as most romantic comedies tend to be. I enjoyed it though, and its always nice to see a shirtless Mario Lopez. (Whatever happened to him?) Plus, the way he looks at her toward the end is pretty swoon worthy…especially since Melissa Joan Hart looked kind of rough. Overall, I wouldn’t mind making it a Christmas tradition.

My Fake Fiance

I don’t remember his name is the movie, so I’m going to call him Joe. Joe is a huge gambler and in debt to a guy named The Monkey. Mel, I can’t recall her name either, is a cynical business woman who isn’t that close with her family. They are kind of set up at their friend’s wedding, though it backfires cause they dislike each other immediately. At the wedding they talk about how much people will give to the bride and groom and all the presents. (Apparently you have to have loaded friends). Next scene: Joe owes a lot of money and the mafia is coming to collect. Mel’s belongings were stolen and she is broke and in a new apartment that is yet to be furnished. BRIGHT IDEA! Pretend to be engaged so they can cash in on the money and presents. There’s a catch though, according to the bridal book if they don’t actually get married then they have to return everything .OH SNAP.

You can probably see what happens next. I thought the movie was cute! Melissa and Joey Lawrence have a cute chemistry. It isn’t sizzling, though it doesn’t have to be. You can tell they enjoy each other’s company. It’s probably why they decided to go into a sitcom together: Melissa and Joey. I liked The Monkey’s cliché lackeys. They were pretty funny even though they were  basically clichés (joke from the movie)

I wonder if Melissa will make anymore ABC family movies. I doubt it, considering she has a show on that station now. I remember when the movies came out they were the highest rated ABC Family original movies. It has to do with the star power of Melissa Joan Hart and her co-stars who are pretty well known from the 90s.

So if you’re bored (or procrastinating) go check out some B movies.

eight: THOR

DC, you need to step up your game. I don’t think there is a DC movie I’ve liked more than a Marvel one. And if rumors are true and a certain someone is going to play my beloved Nightwing in the upcoming Superman/Batman movie we are gonna have some problems. I can tolerate Ben Affleck being Batman, but do not ruin Dick Grayson for me damnit.

Alright, so last night I saw Thorquel. It was awesome. It was hilarious, action packed, and had a freaking twist ending I did not see coming. I know Thor is the star of the movie, but Loki is certainly a scene stealer. I loved their interactions with each other. Especially when they were fighting and Thor was all “Mother wouldn’t want us to fighter” and Loki replied, “But she wouldn’t be surprised” and Thor had a tiny smile on his face. ADORBS! Aw brothers. The CGI was pretty excellent too. It was very pretty and realistic.

Oh yeah, Natalie Portman was in it too. That lady is gorgeous. How on earth did her hair stay so perfect considering all the crap that happened to her? FOR REAL! My hair would be greasy, huge, and unruly. Stellan Skaargard was great too. I totally just realized his name is Erik in the movie, and his son Alexander’s name is Eric on True Blood. hehe.

So basically, the plot of this movie is that some aliens tried to like destroy the world with the infinite stone. And then like Asgaards forces came and beat them and like hid the stone. Somehow Natalie Portman found it and it got in her body so Thor was all “hell noo” and took her to his kingdom etc and so forth. I think everyone should go watch it!! it was a lot better than the first movie. And its also funny how like 2 of thor’s friends got actor changed. Zachary Levi does a good accent tho!

I don’t see a sizzling chemistry with Thor and Jane. They are more of a “aw, you guys are cute.” kind of romance. Kat Dennings was pretty funny too as well as with her Intern. I pretty much saw that one coming.

The next movie I am waiting for with much anticipation is Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier. SPOILER. BUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I am so ready for his badass return as well as his backstory with Black Widow. So So So stoked. I could care less about the Shield part, I want the Winter Soldier. 4.04.14.

The other movie I want now: Hobbit 2: Desolation of Smaug. I’ll admit, so far the hobbit hasn’t lived up to my expectations. It is really hard not to compare them to the epic, amazing, great Lord of the Rings trilogy. 12.13.14

Midnight premieres for these?  I think yes. Yes. YES.

Sorry the fangirl in me is taking over.

 

 

seven: Supernatural the Series Overview

So the past eight years I have been watching a sci-fi  series called Supernatural. Supernatural is essentially about two brothers, Dean and Sam, who fight demons, monsters, and ghosts across America. To be honest the only reason I watched it was because the two lead actors were hot. Yeah, I’m pretty superficial. Anyway, my friends and I in 10th grade would watch it and discuss it at lunch the next day. We became pretty obsessed. I was a Dean girl and my friends were a Sam girl. Over the years we continued to watch it as well as buy the DVDs.The show is in its 8th year and even though I still like it I wish it would end. It’s becoming Smallville all over again for me. Smallville lasted 10 years, but letsbereal it should have ended when he left high school. Anyway, for this blog post I’ve decided to give my overall thoughts about Supernatural because this is totally something I can write and write about. Here goes!

The Characters:

Dean Winchester portrayed by Jensen Ackles

Dean Winchester is the older, cocky, protective brother. He loves three things: Sam, pie, and his beloved Impala. He is beyond loyal and believes in family above all. (Elijahhhhh!) Seriously, Dean will put Sam in front of everyone. Don’t mess with Sam. Dean is also very funny and has a love for dramatic medical shows.

Sam Winchester portrayed by Jared Padalecki

Sam Winchester is the younger, sweet brother. Initially, he didn’t want to be a hunter but over the course of the series he realized that this is what he had to do. He is very intelligent (went to Stanford) and bad shit tends to happen to him. One of his weapons is his puppy dog face, which no one is immune too. He has made plenty of mistakes, but it was all in good intentions.

There is so much more to Dean and Sam Winchester and I’ve only begun to scratch the surface. I’m lazy though, soo…this is all you’re gonna get at the moment.

Ahem,

The heart of the show (contrary to what Destiel Shippers believe {don’t even get me started} is Dean and Sam). They can be summed up in one sentence: Psychotically, irrationally, erotically co dependent on each other. Sam would die for Dean and Dean would die for Sam. (And they have multiple times!)  So don’t listen to anyone that may say that Dean or Sam care for other people or that Dean cares for Sam more or vice versa. They love each other equally!!

The show isn’t very scary, but it is funny and has a lot of heart. So go check it out on Netflix. Now.

 

 

 

six: Once Upon a Time Live Review

On this week’s episode of Once Upon a Time we visited the fairy tale of Ariel. I will admit that I was a tad disappointed on how they decided to portray the tale. It just didn’t deliver to me. (and who else is over Regina and Rumple being the villain all the time!) I loved who they picked to be Ariel though! Joanne Garcia is gorgeous with red hair. I loved her on Reba as Cheyenne. I’m also hating Snow White’s hair (in the modern time). It is waaaay too short for my liking. ANYWAY, it kinda sucks Neal is back. Captain Swan all the waaaay. Hook loves Emma! Sorry, Neal but you had your chance.

In other news: Snow White wants another baby and Charming can never leave Neverland. Aww, my poor babies. At least they are getting married in real life.  Emma still loves Neal but it doesn’t look she wants to be with him at the moment and Neal will never stop fighting for her blah blah blah.

Oh yeah Rumple and Regina are going back to Storybrooke to get something to take down Peter Pan. Peter Pan, or affection ally  known as the Little Shit, is basically a little shit who you love to hate. I love that he’s super powerful and always seemingly one step ahead of them. He pretty much looks like what Peter Pan should look like too.

Also, how many damn kingdoms are there? Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, etc.

It’s kinda weird how Ariel trusted Regina so easily. And eww to Rumple and Belle. No just no.

YAY STORYBROOKE next week.

 

five: the originals/ beauty and the beast

Yesterday, I watched the third episode of The Originals, the spin off of The Vampire Diaries. I’m pretty much invested in the show now to be honest. I found myself liking Hayley (and the pregnancy storyline), and I don’t mind Marcel. I thought I would be annoyed by Rebekah, but I find her one-liners pretty great. She’s more of a badass on this show than when she is on the Vampire diaries pining after Matt or Stefan. Klaus is still a dick and needs a ton of redemption. I don’t mind him and Cammie together, even though he’s pulling a season 1 Damon and brainwashing her to do his bidding. You can tell that he really does care about her, but he would rather have power and regain his “kingdom” from Marcel. The young witch whatever her name is, is pretty badass herself. It would have been interesting to see her and Bonnie meet. (Speaking of Bonnie–either let her die or bring her back to life. I am SO OVER her storyline. And she and Jeremy have no chemistry whatsoever)

Now onto my favorite: ELIJAH!!!!!!!!! He’s finally back and pristine as ever. Is it weird that I don’t mind him and Hayley? When Rebekah told her that Elijah’s main concern was her safety and then she smiled I couldn’t help but think it was the adorable thing ever. I would not mind this couple! I’m sure Klaus would mind (cause he’s asshole) and I wouldn’t blame him, but if he daggers Elijah again we are gonna have some problems.

—

 

Next Beauty and the Beast.

This show has really grown on me. I love that they ditched the procedural cop thing because lesbereal Kristin Kreuk is not a cop. I love her to pieces, but she is not a convincing cop. She does, however, have off the wall amazing chemistry with costar Jay Ryan. You gotta fan yourself after watching one of their heated scenes.  Speaking of Jay Ryan I love that they took off his scar (Yes for purely superficial reasons). He is a lot more attractive this season. I also love Tess’ haircut. It’s sweet that’s she’s so protective of Catherine. Also, is anyone else sensing a Gabe/Tess hookup in the future? I got some serious vibes off them. Oh, and lets not forgot the fact that Vincent can point out Catherine’s heartbeat! That’s just so sappy and adorable. Can they just get married in real life and have cute Australian/asian babies? Also, I’m pretty much in love with the song choices for the episode. A+ to whoever is picking out music. You got me.

—–

 

These shows better not get cancelled. I’m eagerly anticipating what happens and I will be very very sad if they get canceled.

Four: Panic! At the Disco’s New CD Review AKA IDK how to review music

I’m a huge Panic! At the Disco fan.  I recently went to the Panic/Fall Out Boy concert the other day and had a blast, although I wished there was more Panic! songs. Anyway, their new cd drops on Oct 8th, but they released it on YouTube as a preview. I was super stoked and went to listen to it right away. Here’s my review”

1. Miss  Jackson:
Love it!!!!!  I was addicted to it when I first heard it. It sounds a little like Fall Out Boy’s new music, but whatever it doesn’t bother me.

2. This is Gospel
At first I didn’t love it (I listened to it at like 2am when I was realllllly tired), but now I adore it. If you love me let me gooooooooooo! It’s really catchy and the video is pretty wicked. It’s one of my favorites on the album.

3. Far Too Young To Die
The beginning of the song is pretty relaxing and the lead singer’s voice is pretty synthesized during the whole song. It’s one of those songs that you like, but you wouldn’t miss it.

4.  Casual Affair
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Super catchy and seems pretty out of worldly if that makes sense. The lyrics match the tone. Late |in the atmosphere| a casual | affair. One of my favorites by far.

5. Vegas Lights
This song makes me wanna get up and dance. I’m listening to it right now and there’s a lot of shoulder action going on right now. It kind of reminds of that song ‘I’m not gonna teach him how to dance with you’ .

6. Collar Full
I really like this song as well as the beat. I could see it being in a 80s movie.

7. Girl That You Love
A very nice beat, but its also one of the songs that I really wouldn’t miss if it wasn’t on the album.

8. Nicotine
The only problem I have with this song is the lyrics, particularly you’re worst than nicotine.  It’s eh okay. It makes sense with the rest of the lyrics, but it just doesn’t sound great. I could use a better metaphor.

9. Girls/Girls/Boys
I adore this song. Honestly, I had to listen to it a couple of times before I really started to like it. It grows on you.

10. The End of All Things
I really want to like it but it annoys me so much that I can barely understand what the lead singer is singing. His voice is so synthesized. The music is really pretty, but ugh I think it would be better if he just sang it raw.

 

Overall, I love the album I just wish I could hear Brendon Urie’s (the lead singer) actual voice. It’s so pretty and seems wasted. I also like how all three albums sound different. I don’t feel like I’m listening to A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out Part 2.

GRADE: B-

Three: The Voice aka Blake Shelton presents: The Voice

I’m a The Voice junkie. I love, love, love it. I especially love the original four: Christina, Adam, Cee-Lo, and Blake. Don’t get me wrong I loved Shakira and Usher too, however they just don’t have the same appeal to me as the original did.

Episode 1:

YAY! Coaches performing I love Rock and Roll together. Sorry, Shakira and Usher but you guys got nothin on Christina and Cee-Lo singing wise. I could listen to Christina sing anything to be honest. Such a pretty, powerful voice. Cee-Lo your tattooed head is quite distracting.

What I Liked: 

It’s pretty easy to see from the get go that they are all genuine friends. It’s nice to see Adam and Christina getting along and laughing as opposed to earlier seasons when they had the love/hate relationship. They also still have their slight sexual tension that I don’t think they’re even aware of to be frank. I also loved how they were ganging up on poor, winner Blake. I love Blake, but I really want to see someone else win. The contestants were pretty good. One guy I thought shouldn’t have been picked was the skinny guy with the weird voice. Yeah, I can’t even remember his name but Adam picked him. He told Adam that he could be very distracting because of his good looks. His voice just irked me.

Honorable Mention: Cee-Lo’s Michael Jackson jacket. (Stealing Michael’s look) Christina’s victory song over Adam. The older lady wrapping her legs around Adam when he gave her a hug. (I’d do it too!)

What I didn’t Like:

Sometimes I just want to fast forward through all of the sob stories. Does that make me a bad person?

Episode 2

What I Liked:

This episode had some pretty big voices. The last girl was excellent and it was no surprise to me that she would pick Adam. Usually, the really good singers do. I also knew that the 15 year old singer would pick Blake. It was the first artist that he actually tried to get. AND HOLY CRAP! Tommy Pickles! When I saw EG Daley on screen I literally shouted “TOMMY!”  Brings back my childhood.

What I Didn’t Like:

Commercials. All the KIA and Starbucks product placement. Good gosh, we get it.

GRADE: A

 

Two: Sleepy Hollow aka The Show I Never Knew I Needed

SO! I watched Fox’s Sleepy Hollow the other day. It’s a modern retelling of Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”. The trailer was pretty kickass so I had high expectations.

What I Liked:

I love the diverse cast. It’s awesome seeing shows with not just white characters AND having a POC woman as a lead character. (Kudos to Elementary too!) Also, Abbie is pretty awesome and independent. (Also HAROLD!! aka Andy)

Abbie and Ichabod. Yeah, yeah I know. Why can’t the leads be platonic best friends for life? Because they are so cute and shippable that’s WHY! There lives are intertwined people. INTERTWINED!

AND their faces when they look at each other after the headless horseman leaves. also his face when she says that she won’t leave Sleepy Hollow. Ah, my heart.

Aside from that the episode was really interesting and it kept me on my toes. I’m really excited to see more of Abbie and Ichabod’s dynamic as well as Ichabod’s reaction to like a microwave or TV. I’m also looking forward to seeing more of the mythology.

What I didn’t like:

Hmmm…I guess the CGI could use a little bit of work, however I did watch Merlin for five years, so it’s not a huge problem.

GRADE: A

Will I watch next week?

Hell yes!